vegas writer

You Can't See (or smell) Scratch-&-Sniff Popup Pages on an iPad or Kindle...Yet

My new book, Fool Me Once: Hustlers, Hookers, Headliners, and How Not to Get Screwed in Vegas comes out in January. That means you have two months to make a potentially life-changing decision: Should you buy a copy of book or should you buy an electronic copy of the book?

On one hand, the electronic copy is cheaper and kills fewer trees. On the other hand, trees are assholes. They’d have no hesitation about chopping you up and reading you. Plus, if you do go for the electronic version, you’re going to miss out on all the great Scratch-&-Sniff popup pages. But hey, if you’re not interested seeing (and smelling) a perfect 1/1000th scale replica of CityCenter, suit yourself.

On a more serious note: I’m starting to think iPads and Kindles aren’t going to replace hardcopy books, after all.

iPads: I’ve got an iPad. I use it every day. I also read books every day. But I’ve never read a book on my iPad. Because I can’t. Tried once. Not even close. With email and facebook and Netflix a click away (well, two clicks), you’d need the self-restraint of a Buddhist monk on Ritalin to get through a single chapter.

Kindles: They’re pushing them hard at Barnes & Noble. I see people buying them every day. But I rarely, rarely see anybody reading on Kindles. Maybe this is different in cities with mass transportation systems, but here in Vegas, Kindles are rarer than Buddhist monks on Ritalin.

I really need to expand my comedy references.

Turning Down Oprah

My new book drops in two months. It’s called Fool Me Once: Hustlers, Hookers, Headliners, and How Not to Get Screwed in Vegas. Essentially, it’s A Tale of Two Cities, but with fewer cities and more photos.

Now, a lot of local literati have criticized my decision to not appear on Oprah to promote my book. There’s been a lot of speculation as to why I won’t go on the show, and I’d like to take this opportunity to set the record straight:

-Am I afraid of getting “the James Frey treatment”? Of course not. Have you seen what the James Frey treatment did for James Frey’s book sales? Through the roof.

-Am I “pulling a Jonathan Franzen”? Please! That Franzen guy is a hack. I can’t even remember the last time he published a book.*

Does my refusal to appear on the show have anything to do with Oprah expressing no interest whatsoever in having me on her show?

Nope. Here’s the deal: I’m holding out for Bonnie Hunt.

*Editor’s Note: 2 months and 6 days ago.

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