There’s no immodest way to say this, so I’ll just come out and say it: I just had the #1 best book release party in history. Here’s the proof, courtesy of Bryan Adams Photography:

Speical thanks to Rumor Botique Hotel, Suzanne Lugano, VEGAS Magazine, Las Vegas Weekly, Paula, Kelli, Janice, Jeff, Dave, Josh, Craig, Jeremy, Barnes & Noble and everyone else who helped make the night fantastic.

My new book drops in two months. It’s called Fool Me Once: Hustlers, Hookers, Headliners, and How Not to Get Screwed in Vegas. Essentially, it’s A Tale of Two Cities, but with fewer cities and more photos.

Now, a lot of local literati have criticized my decision to not appear on Oprah to promote my book. There’s been a lot of speculation as to why I won’t go on the show, and I’d like to take this opportunity to set the record straight:

-Am I afraid of getting “the James Frey treatment”? Of course not. Have you seen what the James Frey treatment did for James Frey’s book sales? Through the roof.

-Am I “pulling a Jonathan Franzen”? Please! That Franzen guy is a hack. I can’t even remember the last time he published a book.*

Does my refusal to appear on the show have anything to do with Oprah expressing no interest whatsoever in having me on her show?

Nope. Here’s the deal: I’m holding out for Bonnie Hunt.

*Editor’s Note: 2 months and 6 days ago.