I’m proud to announce that the winner of last week’s Cartoon Caption Contest…

… is Counselor Steve Pirates, who captioned, “The ill-fated decision to attach a Kremlin-style onion-dome to the antennae became further proof of DePaul’s need to aggressively seek J.D. candidates with an engineering degree.”

A solid caption. Sure, Counselor Pirates didn’t have much (i.e., any) competition, but still, yes, a solid caption.

In other news, just a quick tip, you shouldn’t drop bottles of olive oil on your wine glasses, especially not when the wine glasses are on the counter because the glass gets all over the counter AND all over the floor.

In still other news, my bathroom is incredibly clean this week, and I wanted to show it off.

In still yet other news, this is how I’ll look on the Lawyer Boy jacket flap:

Lastly, has anybody seen Cyborg Sandy? I thought I left her by the elevator….

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Got a random question, for you LSB readers. Are you single and living in St. Louis?

Here’s why I’m asking: LawSchoolBlogger.com guest poster Counselor Elliott…

…recently parlayed his iPhone commercial success into a commercial for JackFoundJill.com, a dating service for St. Louis singles.

Pretty random, right?

 

(Elliott’s the one in the hot tub at the 21-second mark…the other guy in the hot tub just won 2nd place in Bravo’s Make Me a Super Model.)

The big question: how will this help/hurt counselor Elliott’s legal career?

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I’m great at lying—for better or worse. I’ve been performing magic my entire life, which is to say, I’ve been deceiving people my entire life.

(I bent the fork with my mind, by the way.)

I regularly look people right in the eye and say, “Now, I have no idea what your card is,” when I know that their card is the three of clubs…because every card in the deck is the three of clubs.

I keep my deception separate from my law school career, but last week in Negotiations, I was encouraged to merge the two.

We had a simulation in which I was playing the role of a landowner who wanted to buy an easement running through a neighbor’s property. I was planning to develop the land and build 8 condos on it….but if the owner of the neighboring land found that much out, they’d likely refuse to sell me the easement or charge me an arm and a leg for it; they didn’t want a lot of traffic running through their land.

The point of the assignment was to get the easement for as little as possible…only I wasn’t allowed to directly lie about my plans to develop the land. (The Model Rules of Profession Conduct prevent that.) I was encouraged to provide half-answers and dodge questions and that sort of thing.

Long story short: I struck the best deal in the class. By far. Here are some bits of conversation from my deal.

Land Owner: What are you going to use the land for?
Lawyer Boy: If we strike a deal today, I can promise to use it for only residential purposes.

LO: How much traffic will there be on my road.
LB: Is traffic a big concern for you?
LO: Sure is.
LB: Me too. My last house was on a main road and there’d be cars going by at all hours…

During the post-negotiations wrap up, the professor, who had been monitoring all the negotiations, said, “Mr. Lax, you were doing everything you could to avoid the issue at hand, and it seems as though you succeeded in doing so.”

I hope my time spent doing magic will help me in my legal career…but I also wonder whether it might get me into trouble one day…

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This week’s Cartoon Caption Contest is a bit different in that the cartoon we’re using is not explicitly legal. Basically, this is a cartoon that got cut from my upcoming memoir, LAWYER BOY: A CASE STUDY IN GROWING UP (St. Martin’s Press, July). Counselor Steve Katz drew it…

…and now it needs a subtitle, so your thing.

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So…I just got a cease and desist e-mail from Kenyon & Kenyon LLP telling me I could no longer blog under the name “LawSchoolBlogger.” Being April 1st, I assumed this was an April Fools’ Day joke set up by one of my classmates. Long story short: it wasn’t.

Here’s what happened: I just got off the phone with Kenyon & Kenyon attorney David Darschlaw, who told me that a guy named Phillip Roth, who owns and operates LawSchoolBlog.com, owns right to the name “LawSchoolBlogger” too.

My dad says he’s not so sure that Roth has a valid claim against me, but that this is a battle not worth fighting. So right now, I’m not sure whether I’ll continue to blog under a different name or whether this order is maybe a sign that it’s time for me to stop blogging and focus more on school, the Bar Exam, and promoting Lawyer Boy.

Either way, this will be my last post on “LawSchoolBlogger.com.” So let me say, thank you so much for all the time you’ve spent on this blog. Thanks so much for reading, and thanks so much for all your great comments. In writing them, you’ve actually helped me a lot with lots of things.

That’s all for now.

-Rick Lax

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Counselor Rachel, who drew the above cartoon, just wrote me this email:

After a tough decision, the winner of the caption contest is Counselor “…” for his/her short and sweet line:

“Oh this? They said on the Style Network that Justin Timberlake is bringing barrister back.”

Though Steve Pirates and Sarah get honorable mentions, the above caption won for its brevity and use of the word “barrister.” It has such a nice ring to it.

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