With finals coming up in two weeks, the thing I needed most in my life right now was a HUGE distraction. That huge distraction was none other than my dear friend Rachel, who visited from New York. Rachel provided the following photos and captions:

Eating the “Chicago dog” and less exciting “Chicago burg.” I consumed this late night snack in forma pauperis. (Thanks, Ricky)

Two things I like here:
1. Rick’s persuasive stare. That hamburger could have committed 4th degree murder but I believe it’s innocent. Without saying a word, Counselor Lax has won his case.
2. Picture choice. I took two pictures of Rick and Derek. Ricky thought this one was more appropriate for his blog whereas the second picture, while more effeminate–him and Derek intertwining their arms newlywed-style to eat their late night food–was far superior.

Rick enjoying the miniature Christmas display in the lobby of the John Hancock Center.

Rickrealizing 2007 would mark his last Christmas break. Ever. Welcome to the real world, Counselor Lax.

Home of Chicago Cubs. Location of the TBS hit “My Boys.” Wriy Field: everything I’d hoped it would be.

Even a cool-headed lawyer, when provoked by a girl who can school him in sprints around the gym, will attack. Be it with derisive argument, biting sarcasm, or a bic pen.

Four men. One piano. Endless Journey hits.

Derek paid Rick an undisclosed amount to promote Down the Line’s “Please Remember My Name” album ( www.downthelineband.com or iTunes, $9.99). Alex thought Rick just liked her. Leading the witness (on), Counselor Lax.

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Like I said, I didn’t study at all over Thanksgiving break. I spent the whole time writing a 20-page expose of Mensa, the so-called high IQ society.

Long story short, Mensa claims to foster and promote intelligence, but in reality, they just play board games and eat chocolate.

I can’t share the whole story with you, but here’s the introduction:

MENSA IDIOT
By Rick Lax

I could never get my bs and ds straight. I always drew the line on the wrong side of the circle—as in, “I’m not an ibiot; I’m byslexic.” Third grade was a disaster, so the summer before fourth, my mom took me to The William Beaumont Hospital Center For Human Development to see if I had a learning disability. The doctor’s report, which my mom has kept in the garage for nearly two decades, says that I had a “subtle minor problem with general language organizational skills and this was noted on [my] sentence formulation test where [I] encountered rather pronounced difficulties producing meaningful sentences.”

I don’t feel like I have pronounced difficulties producing meaningful sentences, but I do feel that whatever difficulties—or rather, well, yes, difficulties—I have are not the kind (kinds?) of difficulties…I mean, it’s not difficult for me…I can form simple—simple or complex, actually—sentences, and…and…hold on…lost my train of…

My areas of “Moderate Concern” included “Pure Fine Motor Praxia,” and “Organizational Skills.” My single area of “Marked Concern” was “Pencil Control and Graphomotor Skills. I had “a very maladaptive, almost whole-fisted pencil grip with marked increased pressure. Indeed, [I] broke the whole bottom half off of the first pencil that [I] used because of this pressure.”

That’s how much I hate taking tests.

On the plus side, I showed “no evidence of any major or minor facial dysmorphias, skeletal, or cutaneous stigmata[!]” Also on the plus side, my IQ, apparently, was quite high.

After college, I put my high IQ to work for me. I didn’t get a job or anything; I applied to join Mensa, the 100,000-member international high-IQ society that “welcomes people from every walk of life whose IQ is in the top 2% of the population.” It cost me $79.

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Today’s guest writer is fellow law school student/law school blogger Dan the WikiLaw Student

Here’s what Dan has to say:

“I made the mistake a couple of weeks ago of pre-judging my Torts professor by his political tendencies.

I mean, we know that law professors tend to be pretty liberal. I figured that a law professor at American, who teaches Torts and Environmental Law, and has a beard that would be the envy of any hippy in Colorado, would fit squarely into that category. So I was pleasantly surprised when he gave a stirring defense of gun ownership rights.

It started from a hypo about whether or not shooting on a firing range constituted an ultra-hazardous activity. I wasn’t paying too much attention, but my interest was piqued when the professor starting talking about how firing ranges are a benefit to society.

I looked over at the other ex-military guy in my class, who was just as surprised as I was. This wasn’t at all what we expected. Then, a guy in the back of the class raised his hand and asked “How can they NOT be ultra-hazardous? Guns exist only to kill people.”

This was how I was expecting the discussion would evolve, so I was even more surprised when my Torts prof proceeded to school the kid. The prof started talking about the benefits to society conferred by guns, individual responsibility, etc.

I was shocked. A law professor, pro-gun? Don’t get me wrong, it made my day because I agree with him, but I had him completely pegged as a tree hugging hippy.

Have any of you had a similar situation where you judged a prof and they turned out to be completely unlike what you expected?”

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Welcome back, LSB readers! I trust you had a fantastic holiday. I went the entire break without cracking a single law book. The closest I came to studying was reading this paper on magic and intellectual property that the Dean of my school said I should read.

The gist of the paper was this: magicians can’t use the law to protect their secrets. They can’t use copyright, patent, or the work product doctrine. Accordingly, magicians have come up with their own system for keeping secrets safe. Basically, if you share a secret with the wrong person, you’ll be excommunicated from the magic community.

The worst part of the break was that my MacBook power cord busted and I didn’t have full computer access most the time. Tonight I got back into town and went to the Apple store on Michigan Avenue. Only I showed up seven minutes late and they wouldn’t let me in. They were turning people away every few seconds.

So I pleaded with the guy at the door, told him I was a student and that I needed my laptop to take notes in class tomorrow, that I couldn’t read my own handwriting, and that finals were coming up. He asked his manager if I could come in, but the manager said no.

So I waited until the manager left and then I started pleading again. I asked him if he was a student and if he could appreciate how important it was to take good notes.

He gave in, I got the cord, and I’m using it as I type this very blog entry.

Welcome back, LSB readers, and happy belated Thanksgiving.

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This is Toby Young:

He wrote two bestselling memoirs called The Sound of No Hands Clapping and How to Lose Friends & Alienate People.

Robert B. Weide, the Curb Your Enthusiasm director, is currently making How to Lose Friends into a movie starring Kirsten Dunst and Simon Pegg (who plays Young).

(Dunst and Pegg)

Anyways, here’s what Toby Young had to say about my upcoming law school memoir Lawyer Boy:

“Rick Lax may be at law school—and he may try and impress girls at parties by doing magic tricks—but he isn’t a total geek. Okay, that’s a lie. He is a total geek—but Lawyer Boy is thoroughly entertaining nevertheless.”

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Tonight I saw the new George Clooney movie Michael Clayton.

In it, Clooney plays a legal “fixer,” which means that when somebody in his law firm has problem, he does whatever is necessary to make it go away.

The movie was filled with sabotage, double-crossing, and murder…but the most unsettling part of the film was this: the lawyers—and everybody in the movie was a lawyer—NEVER left the office.

Terrifying.

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Tonight I got notes from my professor on my overall performance in Trial Advocacy II class.

He said that I improved throughout the semester, and that the thing I most need to work on is being more formal. Smile less, straighten my tie—that sort of thing.

He said that during my opening and closing arguments, I frequently said things like “you guys,” “you all,” and “know what I’m talking about?”

The funny thing is, before the class started, I made a conscious decision to be less formal. In Trial Ad I, my professor said I came across as too polished. Clearly my attempt to be more “real” and “raw” didn’t go as planned—know what I mean?

My Trial Ad II professor definitely knows what he’s talking about and I take his opinion real seriously, so I do plan to be more formal in future trials….if I ever have any…hope I do…

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Today’s Guest Blogger is my dear friend Potential Counselor Laurel Stucky.

Yes, her name’s Laurel Stucky—pretty cool, no?

Well, Potential Counselor Stucky writes….

“I´ve wanted to be a guest LSB blogger for a while now, but I never really had anything pertinent to write, so I held out…until now.

One night last week I watched A Few Good Men—one of my favorite movies—and then the following night I caught tail end of 12 Angry Men. It got me thinking…

Does EVERYBODY want to be a lawyer after they watch these movies or is it just me? I’m seriously considering law school now, only I can’t tell if I want to be a lawyer because I want to bring justice to the world and win big important trials or if I’m just temporarily dazzled
by the fancy TV and movie lawyers.

Pretty sure I better figure that out before I really take the plunge.

Any thoughts/advice?

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So I’m doing my Consumer Protection reading last night….and apparently the Equal Credit Opportunity Act forbids creditors from discriminating based on age…but allows creditors to give credit applicants “bonus points” for being older.

That’s crazy talk—right? Allowing creditors to give credit applicants a bonus for being old has the same effect as allowing creditors to deduct points from credit applicants for being young—right?

It’s like saying, “You’re not allowed to pull over drivers because they’re black…but you are allowed to refrain from pulling over drivers because they’re white.”

Unless I’m missing something…

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WEEKEND NEWS

Standup Comedian/Daily Show Correspondent Demetri Martin (who dropped out of NYU law school…even though he had a full-ride scholarship) has a joke that goes something like this:

“I think every board game I own might as well have the same title: Which One of my Friends is a Competitive Asshole?

When you play board games with law school students, though—which is precisely what I did over the weekend—you’d think the games could be called “Which One Isn’t?”

But, actually, everybody was a great sport. We played Trivial Pursuit, Catch Phrase, and Scene It. And now that the weekend is done and the time for good sportsmanship has passed, I can tell you that I won every single round of every single game I played.

NEWS FROM LAST WEEK

Had my final trial in Trial Advocacy last week. The jury was split. All the jurors my side brought in voted for us. All the jurors the other side brought in voted for them.

Hmmm…

We finished the trial around 9:15 and my professor asked whether he could give me his notes next Thursday.

“Is there any way we could do it tonight?”

“You’re just trying to get out of coming to class next week, aren’t you?”

“No, it’s just, while everything’s fresh in my mind, I wanted to… Actually, yes.”

“See you in class next week, Mr. Lax.”

IN UPCOMING WEEKEND NEWS

Planning an apartment party on Saturday. If you’re reading this blog you live in Chicago, and you’re interested in attending, shoot me an e-mail at ricklax3000@gmail.com. We’ll talk.

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