Three Tips For Classroom Survival
#1) CONSIDER YOUR SEATING CHART PENMANSHIP
Most professors employ do-it-yourself seating charts, and most professors call on each student only once per semester. If you want to be called on towards the beginning of the semester, write your name in large capital letters and use a felt tip marker. If you want to be called on towards the end of the semester, write in cursive and use a dull pencil. If your last name is Smith, Jones, or Brown, you’ll be called on during the first month no matter how illegibly you write. If your last name has four or more syllables, four or more consecutive consonants, an umlaut, or any sort of clicking sound, don’t bother doing your reading until the last week of class because you won’t be called on until then.
#2) VOLUNTEER YOURSELF
Some professors randomly call on students on some days and ask for volunteers on others. When prepared, always volunteer in these classes. That way, if you ever get called on when you are unprepared, your professor won’t see you as an unprepared student; she’ll see you and a sometimes-unprepared student. Plus, if you volunteer yourself, you might not get called on for the rest of the semester.
#3 PREPARE FOR BEING UNPREPARED
When unprepared for class, the absolute worst thing you can say when called on is, “I’m unprepared,” or “I didn’t do my reading.” If you think law professors appreciate that kind of forthrightness, you are wrong. When law professors call on you, they want to see you perform; they’re preparing you for a courtroom environment in which you’ll be expected to put on a show. Acting as if you’ve done your reading when you haven’t, may be unethical—outright lying about the matter surely is—but in my experience, teachers will forgive whatever you say in class, as long as you said it loudly and with gusto.
Technorati Tags: Classroom Survival, Socratic Method, Getting Called On, Law School Classroom
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January 28th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
So….. do you have a suggestion for what to say when your mind is blank?
January 28th, 2007 at 6:34 pm
Mmm…if your mind is 100% blank, you’re in trouble. But you should at least know the topic you’re on. So just say something general about the topic. Or ask the teacher to repeat the question…that’ll at least buy you some time.
January 28th, 2007 at 7:15 pm
I figure even if you’ve got nothing to say, if you can’t bullshit (can i say bullshit?) a little in law class you’ve probably chosen the wrong profession.
January 28th, 2007 at 7:20 pm
Counselor Steven,
You can say “bullshit” on my blog, but you should not saw that in class when called on. That’s another giveaway that you’ve chosen the wrong profession.
-Rick Lax
January 28th, 2007 at 9:36 pm
This is an issue that every law student in every generation has faced and dealt with. My own techniques for dealing with a class for which I was unprepared included: 1) Never making eye contact with the prof 2)Staring straight down into the textbook or my notes (I guess todaythat means staring at your laptop screen) 3) Wearing clothing that will not bring any attention to you (For example I never wore a shirt and tie to class for three years) and4) Positioning yourself so that you were alligned right behind the student sitting in the row in front of you so that you couldn’t be seen.
January 29th, 2007 at 11:31 am
No wonder why Elle Woods gets called on so quickly in Legally Blonde. How many people are blonde in your classes Ricky? Is that bad to say? Are you going to address me as Counselor STUCKY when you write back? How exciting.
January 29th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
Counselor Laurel Stucky,
Very good point! You know, they’re making Legally Blonde into a musical. I think it opens on Broadway real soon. A lot of girls in my class last year had dyed blonde hair. A lot. My ex-girlfriend pointed that out, actually.
-Rick Lax
January 29th, 2007 at 2:21 pm
You are actually all incorrect. The #1 best way to deal with being unprepared is to not attend class. If your attendance is factored into your grade, make sure to bribe somebody to sign you in. If you must skip a majority of classes for this reason, you can also bribe somebody to take your final exam for you. I only know this because I have been offered several bribes in my life, some of them in academic situations and most often sexual in nature.
January 29th, 2007 at 9:31 pm
So, in a way law students are groomed to be liars– confident, expert liars?
January 29th, 2007 at 11:13 pm
Counselor Yuri,
Confident? Yes. Experts? Yes. But not expert liars. Lying just gets us in trouble. Lawyer’s are paid to tell one side of a story, though. To make some facts bigger (even if they are unimportant) and other facts smaller (even if they are important). That’s not lying. It can get pretty close, but lying to the court is a violation of the Model Rules of Professional Conduct. Lawyers get in real bad trouble for that stuff.
-Rick Lax
January 31st, 2007 at 5:30 pm
I don’t know, I’ve seen the BSing tactic blow up in people’s faces. It’s funny when you’re watching it (especially if you know it’s coming), but not so funny when it happens to you.
If you’re a student who didn’t read that day for class, you’re probably also on AIM or Google Talk. My recommendation is, as soon as the prof calls your name, IM everybody you know in that class and ask them to help you out. Unless you’re friends with jackasses, someone will do what they can.
January 31st, 2007 at 9:40 pm
Counselor Moz,
I’ve never thought of getting help through AIM. Do you know people who’ve actually done this successfully?
-Rick Lax
February 5th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
My comment about class participation is this — when you feel like you are going to fall asleep during the lecture, but don’t want to, ask a question and get 125 people staring at you — that will wake you up. It worked for me, although some of my questions were pretty unintelligible
February 5th, 2007 at 6:50 pm
Counselor MKH,
I’ve actually done that before. It does work.
-Rick Lax
February 11th, 2007 at 11:42 am
hi ricky - love reading your commentary - so happy that you are in law school and that i never went
February 16th, 2007 at 9:46 am
Your blog on seating charts, reminded me of my first semester Civil Procedure with Arthur Miller at Michigan Law. He annonunced that if anyone came to class unprepared, he would be removed from the class. Of course the next day, a student was not prepared and Miller told him to leave. He refused. It was the classic standoff. What would Miller do to save face? He took out his pen knife, cut a hole in the seating chart (large enough for all to see). He held the seating chart up to the class, with a hole in the student’s seat, and announced he was no longer in the class. it was a great safe face moment.
February 16th, 2007 at 10:11 am
Brother Roth:
I must say that your story about Arthur Miller certainly brought back many memories and for that matter many demons. Arthur Miller was my Professor Kingfield when I was in law school-intimidating and bigger than life. Every student of Miller’s can recount the day when he showed up wearing a white powdered wig and satin britches and a satin morning coat for one of his lectures.
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