I’m 100 pages into the Bush memoir, and I’m loving it.

When I say this to my friends, this response usually follows: “Guess he had a good ghostwriter!” Or something like that.

I can’t discount the possibility that somebody helped Bush write the book (or the possibility that somebody wrote the book for Bush). But I sure haven’t seen the evidence. Nor, really, has anybody. It’s all speculation.

I can see where my friends are coming from. After all, Bush sure didn’t have the eloquence of Clinton or Obama. But books, my former editor Scott Dickensheets points out, are different than speeches: “Speech is an improvisational act, unfolding in the moment. Writing is reflective; you have time to polish.” (I should point out: I don’t know whether Scott has made up his mind about whether Bush wrote the memoir himself; Scott was speaking in general terms.)

Bush has had two years to write and polish Decision Points. And by all accounts—his own, especially—he’s spent a lot of time doing just that. So why is it so crazy to believe the book is significantly cleaner than Bush’s speeches and debate performances?

I contacted linguist Geoffrey Nunberg and asked him these two questions: Isn't it possible that somebody who speaks, uh, as Bush speaks, would be capable of writing a good book with clean prose? Surely there are some precedents for this...(clumsy speakers writing eloquent books...), right?

And here’s what Nunberg had to say: I can't think of too many, but then Bush isn't alone. Most presidents had help—except Jimmy Carter; the question is, how much? Eisenhower was a much more fluent writer than a speaker, for example—you can tell this from his letters—but he apparently had some help on Crusade in Europe.

Maybe we can all agree on these two things: 1) It’s not a big deal if Bush got some help with this book. Most Presidents get help. 2) We’ll never know how much help Bush got.

Agree or disagree, until more evidence comes out, I’m giving the guy the benefit of the doubt on this one. And, as Las Vegas Weekly’s book reviewer, I’m doing everything I can to evaluate the book and not the politics of the guy who wrote it.

And what about my upcoming book, Fool Me Once: Hustlers, Hookers, Headliners, and How Not to Get Screwed in Vegas? Who really wrote it?

Bush did.

I have no clue why I waited so long to get Netflix. Worst mistake of my life—waiting so long. I’ve already watched movies about extraterrestrial ghettos, Japanese schoolchildren killing competitions, and tiger thefts…and I’m still on my free trial membership. Life changing.

When I told the worker at Blockbuster that I just got Netflix he admitted to me that he got Netflix too. 

Recently got a new camera. These photos came from photo shoot #2. It started off as a silly idea about misusing household appliances...but then somehow transformed into a dark social commentary on consumerism and traditional gender rolls. Really odd how that happened. Pictures came out pretty, though.

I didn't go out for Halloween.  Was feeling under the weather. So I went to the gym around 11:30PM. It was dead. I go into the locker room, put my stuff in the locker...and then the ONLY other guy in the place walks out of the shower, all dripping and naked...and of course his locker is RIGHT next to mine. 

Came across this in supermarket tonight. Very disappointing. Back when I was your age, we had proper cereal mascots. And they taught us about exclusion (Lucky the Leprechaun, Trix Rabbit, Flinstones, Sonny the Cuckoo Bird). King Vitamin looks WAY to happy and inclusive to me.

This is easily the fanciest salad I've ever made myself. 10 for taste. 4 for looks.

Did I ever tell you why the lettuce blushed?

He saw the salad dressing...

Just got back from Chicago. Was there for my dear friend Lindsay's wedding. Here are some random pics from the week. More to come.

Okay, I just uploaded all my iPhone pictures to my computer from the past few months. Took this one at a New York pizza place...a block from Times Square. How delicious do these guys look? And how amazing is the iphone camera? Awesomeness all around.

(Tasted very good too...got the mushroom and goat cheese slice...)

Okay, if I were a REAL GENIE, I'd be SO pissed at this product. This product is NOTHING like a Genie. To suggest that somebody would waste one of their three wishes on "an easier way to clean floors" is preposterous. Really diminishes the fine work that genies do.

These photos were taken just two hours apart, and have not been digitally retouched in any way. They're for a story I wrote that exposes how Before & After photos can be faked. You can read the whole Las Vegas Weekly story by CLICKING RIGHT HERE, ON THESE VERY WORDS--YEP, ANY OF 'EM.

...but here's a preview:

Trick No. 1: Suck in your stomach

If you exhale and suck in your stomach, you’re going to look thinner. This is particularly true for men, who store a lot of their body fat around their bellies. Remember to inhale and push out your stomach when you take your “before” photo.

Trick No. 2: Flex your muscles

Take a page from the professional bodybuilders’ competition-pose playbook; you’ll look stronger and more muscular if you flex your muscles. Be careful not to flex your muscles in your “before” shot, though.

Trick No. 3: Pump it up

Lift some weights immediately before you snap your “after” photo. Like flexing, anaerobic exercise will temporarily increase the size of your muscles.

Trick No. 4: Fix your posture

If you stand up straight and roll back your shoulders, your chest will stick out more, and your waist will look smaller by comparison. So find a mirror, and align your ears, shoulders and hips.

Trick No. 5: Fix your face

A smile is your best bet. A smile won’t make you look thinner or more muscular, but it will imply that you’re enjoying your new healthy lifestyle (your Sunday afternoons playing flag football at the park, your six-pack-bearing weekends on exotic ports of call …). And don’t grimace in your “before” photo—that’d be too obvious. Instead, go for a blank expression or one indicating slight depression.

Trick No. 6: Shave and bronze

Removing your body hair and tanning will better showcase your muscle definition.

Trick No. 7: Get a mini-makeover

Put on some better-fitting clothes, fix your hair and slap on some foundation.

If you don’t believe that simple tricks like these can be used to simulate weight loss, take another look at the “before and after” photos on this page. They were taken just two hours apart, and they have not been digitally altered in any way.